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A Sixty and Me essay recommends reconsidering “I’ll try,” “can’t,” “always,” “never,” “if only” and “but.” The author presents the list as personal advice about communication and mindset, not as a research-backed rule that these words must never be used.
Sixty and Me published a first-person essay urging readers to reconsider six expressions—“I’ll try,” “can’t,” “always,” “never,” “if only” and “but”—because, the author argues, habitual language can shape self-talk and affect relationships. The piece offers personal examples and alternative wording; it does not establish that the phrases are universally harmful or that avoiding them guarantees change.
The author frames the recommendations as a personal practice rather than a formal language rule. She says she previously taught a workshop on limiting beliefs and spent seven years exchanging affirmations with a coaching partner. In her account, changing the words they used accompanied progress in their personal and professional lives. That experience is presented as anecdotal, not as evidence from a controlled study.
To explain her concern about “I’ll try,” the writer describes her son Joel’s efforts to lose weight and maintain everyday routines. She reports that he lost 35 pounds over six months after the family began taking regular walks and made other changes at home during the pandemic. The author interprets “I’ll try” as leaving room for failure and recommends the more definite “I will.” The essay does not provide independent medical information or establish that wording caused the weight loss.
For “can’t,” the author suggests describing a choice or outcome more precisely, such as saying she did not take a walk rather than claiming she could not. She advises avoiding “always” and “never” in complaints or self-criticism, and replacing “if only” with a forward-looking phrase: “Since this is here, I have a new opportunity.” She calls “but” a “verbal eraser,” illustrating how it can seem to cancel praise, an apology or affection that came before it.
How Everyday Phrasing Shapes Conversations
The essay’s practical point is that small wording choices can influence how people describe setbacks, commitments and other people’s behavior. Readers may find the examples useful as prompts to make an apology more accountable, turn a sweeping accusation into a specific observation, or distinguish a genuine inability from a choice or competing priority.
Its advice also has limits. Words depend on context: “can’t” may accurately describe a real constraint, and “but” can connect ideas without dismissing what came before. The article is best read as a personal invitation to notice habitual language, not a demand to police every sentence or a claim that particular words alone determine outcomes.
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The Essay’s Personal Framework
The supplied Sixty and Me report begins with a story about a friend whose fiancé removed the word “divorce” from his dictionaries as a gesture of reassurance. The author says the couple remained married more than 40 years later. She uses the anecdote to introduce her broader view that words can carry emotional weight, especially in close relationships.
She then connects that idea to her experience teaching about limiting beliefs and writing affirmations. The six-item list follows a separate section on swear words, which the author says she chose to keep out of her usual vocabulary. The source offers personal reflections and examples; no research citations or outside expert commentary are included in the material provided.
What the Essay Does Not Establish
The supplied source does not identify the essay’s publication date, cite studies, or include comment from psychologists, linguists or other independent specialists. It is unclear whether the author intended the list as a broad rule or chiefly as a personal exercise in more mindful communication.
The account of Joel’s weight loss is the author’s report. The source gives no independent verification, detailed health information or basis for attributing the reported change to the family’s language choices. It also does not show that replacing “I’ll try” with “I will” produces better outcomes for other people.
A Personal Language Audit
The essay does not announce a follow-up, study or response from an organization. Its suggested next step for readers is informal: notice which phrases recur in their own self-talk or conversations, then test more specific alternatives where those phrases are unhelpful.
Any broader claims about how these words affect motivation or relationships would require evidence beyond the personal examples in the article. For now, the development is a published advice essay, and its recommendations remain the author’s perspective.
Key Questions
Which six words or phrases does the essay identify?
It discusses “I’ll try,” “can’t,” “always,” “never,” “if only” and “but.” The author recommends reconsidering them when they become habitual or make communication less precise.
Does the article say these words should never be used?
The headline uses an absolute formulation, but the essay’s examples support a more limited reading: the author encourages readers to notice language that may discourage them or strain conversations. The source does not establish a universal ban.
What alternative does the author suggest for “if only”?
She proposes “Since this is here, I have a new opportunity” as a way to focus on what can be done in the present rather than dwell on a different past.
Is the weight-loss story evidence that changing words causes weight loss?
No. The author reports that her son lost 35 pounds over six months after the family adopted regular walks and other routines. The essay does not establish that word choice caused the reported change.
Source: sixtyandme.com
